Stop over-chewing your texts: How to break the spiral of Overthinking

What’s happening:
You type, “Hey, how was your weekend?” Then delete it - too casual. You try, “Hope you had a great weekend!” but that feels over the top. “What’s up?” feels abrupt. Twenty minutes pass, and you’re still staring at a blank message.

Your friend sends a meme, and suddenly you’re dissecting your response like it’s an exam. Too many laughing emojis? Too few? Add context or just react? You draft three versions before sending one that doesn’t even sound like you.
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Plans get cancelled, and every reply feels loaded: “No worries” - dismissive. “That’s totally fine” - sarcastic. “Thanks for letting me know” - cold. Your drafts folder is a graveyard of overthinking.

Why your brain does this:
Texting tricks you into believing every word must be perfect. Unlike face-to-face conversation, where you respond naturally, the pause before sending awakens your inner critic. You start rehearsing instead of relating, like each text is a job interview.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, this over-analysis connects to the Spleen and Stomach - the organs that govern thinking, processing, and digestion. When balanced, they help you digest not only food, but also experiences and thoughts. But when they’re overworked, the energy of the Spleen gets “stuck,” leading to worry, rumination, and mental fatigue. Just as your stomach feels heavy after too much food, your mind feels bogged down after chewing on the same message again and again.

Today’s Spiral Breaker: The 10-Second Rule
When you catch yourself in the draft–delete–redraft loop:

1. Type your first instinct.
2. Set a 10-second timer.
3. Ask: Does this say what I actually mean?
   • If yes, send it.
   • If no, make one quick edit — then send.
4. Remind yourself: “This is just a text, not a permanent record.”

Think of it as giving your Spleen and Stomach a break: stop over-chewing the words, let your thoughts flow, and trust that your natural voice is nourishing enough.
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Reality Check Exercise:
Remember the last time a friend sent you a message that felt awkward, overly formal, or imperfect. Did you dwell on it? Probably not - you cared more about the connection than the exact phrasing. The same is true for your friends. They want you, not your perfectly digested script.

​I hope this article helps you, overthinking is something I have struggled with for years, trying to be perfect, it ungrounds us because we are in our heads. Shiatsu is a wonderful treatment for rebalancing the mind and body and to help you ground yourself. Book a session with me if you're feeling overwhelmed or tired.